January 20



Roomie and I were cooking dinner and preparing to drink wine and watch the Bachelor when all of a sudden someone starts ringing our doorbell incessantly. This happens sometimes when you live in the hood, so we were ignoring it. Finally, we got annoyed and I went down to check.

It was Roomie’s ex-boyfriend, back from his two-month vacation and looking to reconcile.

This guy dated Trish for 7 months, told her he loved her, but somehow never texted her back within a timely manner and consistently stood her up. Roomie was finally getting better after he just up and left for the Caribbean around Thanksgiving. She was finally seeming happy again. And now he is here.

I hate this. She constantly, constantly ditches me when he’s around. I can think of a dozen times where we have been out and either he has shown up or she just sneaks off and gets in a cab and leaves me to go see him. Or the time right after Sam and I broke up where she left me alone at her friend’s apartment on Halloween. It’s selfish of me to say all of this. I should be a good friend and be happy for her but I’m just not. I was enjoying not being the only single one.

I guess you’ll probably be wanting to know how my date was last night. It was fine, he was really nice. Only dealbreaking flaw was he just broke up with his ex-girlfriend three weeks ago and kept talking about her. And he reminded me of my first boyfriend. Like, a lot. I’m not sure I want that again. He’s really into me, though. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m just not over Sam. I’m not. And he treated me like absolute shit. He never once acted like he was into me or wanted to be with me, it always seemed like he was just tolerating me which made me try even harder. I did everything for him. I loved him, I really did. I just keep hoping that he’ll show up at my door and say he made a mistake and that he wants me back but I know that he never will. I shouldn’t even want that. I should be trying with everything I have to move on.

I think I’m just having a really depressed day. It’s all piling up. I didn’t go to work, which was horrible, I just said I was sick so that I could stay in bed. My grandpa fell and broke his back and is back in the hospital. Nobody has any idea where my mother is. Now, Roomie’s boyfriend is back. It’s just all too much right now.

January 19


Have not blogged all weekend because was hanging out at Roomie’s family’s house on Long Island. This basically always means that her father buys me lots of delicious Italian food and I spend two days watching TV, getting fat, and playing with her black labs. Puppy therapy is definitely a thing. Their neighbors just got a little three month old black lab puppy, and it is impossible to be angry, stressed, or sad when you have a face this cute looking up at you.

I know, right???

I know, right???

The only downside of all this is it made me homesick for my own little black lab who lives out west with my dad. The 4 acres is great for her, but I wish I could have her here with me. It really is impossible to have a dog in the city when you have a job. I cannot afford a doggy nanny, so I wound up with The Cat when my depression prompted me to buy something warm and fluffy. If only she liked to cuddle and didn’t hate everyone I would be set!

Speaking of The Cat, I finally bought her a laser pointer. What they say about cats and laser pointers is turning out to be very true. She has gone ballistic. She is a slave to the little red light. As soon as she sees it she forgets everything else. I have devious plans to use it to train her to scratch one of her four scratching posts instead of my door frame, but I am not anticipating much success.

I am leaving here in fifteen minutes for a date with that boy I talked to on the phone the other day. He of the Pokemon and the “I don’t really look like my picture” comments. I am not sure how to feel about this, but I think at least it’s good that I am moving on from Sam. Or trying to, rather. Maybe I’m jaded, but I’m making bets with Roomie on what his OkCupid flaw will be (for those of you just joining me, Roomie and I have a theory that every single male on online dating has one flaw that they do not advertise on their profile that makes them inherently undateable, and it’s anyone’s guess what it will be).

I think I know what it might be, though. I think it’s this (actual texts):

This does not bode well.

I mean, hooray for fitness, but come on. It’s the playoffs. That Packers/Seahawks game was insane.

Not to mention, I’m one of those people who cannot touch her own toes, so I always have to use the special people block when I go to yoga. And then I fall over. This is why I do not do yoga.