2015 Resolutions (and I mean it this time, damn it)
NO MORE SAM. That was a terrible relationship characterized by you doing everything for a boy who was usually completely indifferent to you. Even though you still love him, do not Facebook stalk or (god forbid) text him. Also, stop passive-aggressively posting pictures to social media showing how hot and fun you are. He knows what he’s missing, and your life really isn’t that exciting if you have time to put it all over your Snapchat story.
Find out what you want to be when you grow up. Your current career (teaching) may not be what you want to do for the next 40 years. Find what will make you happy.
Don’t let people treat you like shit. This includes boyfriends, co-workers, and “friends.” On this note, stop associating with people who you secretly cannot stand.
Eat more fruits and vegetables and less processed foods. One handful of Cheez Its is usually enough!! Work out 2 times per week. Even though you are a size four, that does not mean your lifestyle is healthy.
Take a social media break. Twitter is fine, but be careful on Facebook. Do not Facebook stalk. Do not use other people’s lives as a measuring stick for your own.
Call family more often. Particularly grandparents.
Hold head high and stand up straight. Don’t slouch when walking. You stare at your feet too much and your roomie says you look like a turtle.
Look your best every day. Do not wear John’s boxers to the bodega with no bra. Do not wear pajamas in public.
Do not chase boys. Let them chase you.
Be confident. Be positive. Be optimistic. Be happy.